THE UNAUTHORIZED UNOFFICIAL TRUE AND EXTREMELY LONG AND BORING LIFE STORY OF MARY KELLY AS TOLD OVER MANY BEERS TO ANYONE THERE WHETHER THEY WANTTO HEAR IT OR NOT:

OR: Twelve Chapters of everything you don't even care to know about Mary Kelly

Chapter 1-Nebraska Cowgirl told to Shut Up

Chapter 2 - Colorado Farm Girl goes bad

Chapter 3 - Party Time: Hippy Days

Chapter 4 - Party Time: All that Jazz

Chapter 5 - Party Time: N'awlins

Chapter 6 - Space Coast Space Case

Chapter 7 - On the Old Weird Road Again

Chapter 8 - Hitting it Medium-sized

Chapter 9 - Moonlight in (a Bar in) Vermont

Chapter 10 - Nashville Pussycat

Chapter 11 - Back in Mustache Land (Again!)

Chapter 12 - You're Still Reading This? Get a Life!